Let’s talk about the past, shall we?

Right now, if you looked at my life, you might say, “Hey, that girl has her food shit together! Look at her eating her healthy, clean lunches, climbing walls, racing, etc.” What you see is me, yes. What you don’t see is the struggle it took to get me here.

If you know how hard it is to say no to entire box of Oreos, then you know exactly what I’m talking about when I say “the struggle.” Because “the struggle” is real. And that struggle doesn’t necessarily go away, it just gets easier the more tools you add to your stop-eating-all-the-fucking-things-in-the-house-toolbox.

I tried dieting as a kid. I would see my parents trying out a new diet and I would attempt to eat like them and then I would raid the cupboards at 2:00 a.m. while everyone was fast asleep because I would wake up thinking WHY AREN’T THERE LUCKY CHARMS ON THIS DIET?!

I battled with my weight like the fucking plague as a kid. I was constantly crying about my pants not fitting, stepping on the scale, restricting food, eating a bag of Doritos, and then repeating it all over again. I probably could have run a marathon every day and still not burned off enough calories to counterbalance the food I was eating. And on top of that, the foods that I was shoving in my face really had no nutritional value whatsoever. Have you ever tried eating a pound of carrots? It’s much harder than eating an entire bag of potato chips. That’s because potato chips trigger very minimal satiation inside of you. You know what they do trigger? The GIVE ME MORE OR DIE hormone. Obviously that’s not a real term, but you get the point.

At the age of 22, something happened. Call it an epiphany, a come-to-Jesus moment, or whatever you want, but something inside of me clicked and I just remember thinking Get the fuck up and get your life together.

We all have those moments. It’s very common for those moments to come and go and then nothing ever changes. I think what helped keep me on the get-your-life-together path was the amount of time I spent trying to understand food. I mean really understand food. If I told you Food X was going to set off an inflammatory response in your body and leave you hungry and Food Y was going to keep you from getting a cold from that rando you kissed last week and also help you feel full, I can almost guarantee you’d pick Food Y. I mean, maybe not. Maybe you’re a masochist. Either way, what I’m saying is, when you can really understand why Y is better than X, or visa versa, then the decision becomes that much easier. The decision about what to put in your body goes from this looks delicious to this looks delicious AND it’s going to do something substantial for me.

You know what’s unrealistic? Dieting. You know what is realistic? Eating shit you enjoy. And if you can figure out how to eat those things in a healthier way then you win. Who doesn’t love a little winning?